The Abortion Diaries
OUR STORIES, OUR STRENGTH
Real abortion stories. Shared with honesty, grief, healing and hope.
EST. 2026
"These stories are shared exactly as they were given—no words have been changed. I’ve made only small edits for clarity, so every story stays true to its original meaning and spirit."
Within The Abortion Diaries, you’ll find a tapestry of abortion experiences, each one a unique thread woven into a larger story of resilience and courage. This space is devoted to honouring those journeys, nurturing empathy, and creating a community where every voice is met with care, respect, and understanding without judgment.
I had my abortion at 21 in 2024. I was in a mentally abusive relationship, and my partner at the time was also heavily struggling with addiction. That situation alone made me feel so isolated, and learning I was pregnant with his baby was terrifying. I love children, and I have always known that I do want to have my own family — however, not this young, not until I feel like I am mentally, physically, and financially stable enough to take care of another human being. My decision was very clear the second I found out, and if I had to go back in time, I would do it again. I was just 21, with so much to learn still, yet I was already investing so much of my energy into someone who spent so much time hurting not only me, but themselves too. That was no situation to bring another living being into.
And as much as I was at peace with my decision, the outside wasn’t. I ended up in the hospital due to some complications and was treated with so much hostility and disgust, without my partner there, as he was too deep in his addiction to show up. It was the loneliest time of my life. I opened up to my friends, and they were incredibly supportive of my decision, but to this day, I feel like none of them really understand what it feels like. As much as I wouldn’t change my decision, it brought a different sense of loneliness into my life that still creeps in from time to time, but I am also utterly grateful to have been able to make that decision and learn to prioritize myself.
I also want to say that I know how difficult of a thing it is to go through, especially if the other person ends up not being a part of your life after. I thought that, in a way, our souls were forever connected, that we’d always be tied to each other, that I’d seem unlovable to other people once they found out. And I believed that so deeply, I convinced myself I was never going to be able to find a loving relationship, but oh, was I wrong — and I’m so glad that I was. I am now in such an amazing and loving relationship with the kindest man I’ve ever met, who loves me even more for the things I had to go through.
Making a choice like this doesn’t make you unlovable. I personally believe it shows an immense amount of strength because acknowledging you are not in a position to take care of another human being to the extent they deserve, or that you are not ready yourself yet, and acting on that acknowledgement is not easy.
anonymous
One
“It was the loneliest time of my life.”
age 21
I had an abortion in December 2025. I don’t regret that I did it, but at the same time, I do. I was with a guy who only knew how to manipulate and control me, and I tend to believe he got me pregnant on purpose. We had only been together for a few months. He was extremely happy that I was pregnant, while I was crying and didn’t know what to do anymore.
Even though I’m 27, I wasn’t ready to have a child, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a small maternal instinct inside me — I felt like it was a girl. I had to go through this alone, even though he was physically there, judging me every moment for choosing the abortion. On the day of the abortion, the only thing he told me was that I would regret making the biggest mistake of my life.
Moments of comfort were very rare, and it didn’t matter anyway — he didn’t understand that it was my body and my decision. From his perspective, he was suffering more than I was. After the abortion, he called me a monster, a murderer, saying I had killed a child, even though I was only 7 weeks pregnant — too early for it to already be considered a child.
I don’t regret having the abortion, because if I had kept the baby, the child would have suffered. By choosing the abortion, I chose for myself to suffer instead. It’s hard — when I see little girls, something inside me trembles, and I feel sorry for her; she deserved a life. But I know she deserved a life next to a father who would have brought peace to her mother, not anxiety, trauma, and fear.
I ended up having two abortions: one D&C and one medication abortion. The first was when I wasn’t in a healthy relationship and was on the verge of leaving my partner at the time. I ended the pregnancy at 9 weeks. The second was almost a year ago to the day, in a loving relationship with my partner. However, we had just gotten together and still had so much life to figure out.
I miss my babies every single day. I want to be a mama so bad.
anonymous
Two
“By choosing the abortion, I chose for myself to suffer instead.”
age 27
Three
“I carried a baby I knew I couldn’t keep.”
age undisclosed
I recently had an abortion a day before my daughter’s birthday. My partner and I didn’t plan to have a baby just yet, and I knew that, but when I started having symptoms and tested positive, I was excited but also heartbroken because I knew it wasn’t our time to have this baby.
I begged and came up with all these reasons why we should keep the baby, without fully thinking about the reality of it. I was absolutely devastated, and I cried so much. I had massive anxiety, and knowing I was carrying a baby I knew I couldn’t keep broke me — and it still has broken me.
I have not been coping well with this. I quit my job and have been trying to find myself and pick myself back up again. Some days I’m fine and I can cope, and some days I can’t. I feel like when I lost my baby, I lost myself too.
I don’t see this as an abortion; I see it as a miscarriage, and I grieve my baby every day.
anonymous
My experience with abortion was a decently positive one. I was freshly 23, with a guy I really liked, and I still see myself building a life with him. But he was unemployed, caring for his sibling with cancer, and I have four siblings in an abusive household and was trying to build a life for them to fall back on when they need it. I barely made enough to keep myself afloat.
I had told myself I would abort if it happened before I got pregnant, but once I was pregnant, I couldn't help but think about “figuring it out” and keeping it, and my boyfriend felt the same. But ultimately, we both want our kids to have a stable household, and our lives at the time were just too hectic and unstable to give them that, on top of the monetary issues. That was ultimately what made me decide I couldn't keep it, even if I did want to.
I was early along, but I still kept the picture of it, and I hope when the time is right, our baby will come back and we can give it the life it deserves.
Simultaneously, I worry about the current state of the world and am nervous about bringing a child into it because it's so hard to navigate and build a life right now, and I want a better life for them. So even though I hope to build a family with him, it makes me sad to think that doing so could set them up for failure, with nothing I can change to make their life fulfilling.
anonymous
Four
“I couldn't keep it even if I did want to”
age 23
Five
I’m 24 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and we are so happy together, but we weren’t and still aren’t really trying at the moment.
December 18th, 2025, I found out I was pregnant. I was two weeks late for my period, but just thought the stress of the holidays was taking a toll on my cycle. That week, I had also been feeling really sick stomach-wise, but I work with kids, so I just thought the sickness was catching up with me. But boy, was I wrong.
I took a test that night because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. That test read positive so fast though, and I remember it like it was yesterday. My boyfriend was super supportive of whatever way I wanted to do things. My boyfriend and I are nowhere near financially ready though, and my diet and weight are not in a healthy place. For reference, I’m 5’0 and not even 100 lbs.
I thought through my options and spent hours doing research. With the information I found, I knew the right decision was abortion. With my weight being so low, I was at high risk for not only complications for myself but also for the baby. We weren’t even sure I’d carry full term, and I’d be lucky if I didn’t miscarry. It was too risky.
That following week was Christmas and, by far, the worst. Monday, December 22nd, I woke up to go to work and my blood pressure dropped as soon as I stood up. I felt nauseous, and my legs started going numb and tingly. So I went to the bathroom, where my boyfriend followed to comfort me, and that’s when it happened. It felt like my body was shutting down. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, and I started falling forward. If my boyfriend hadn’t been there, I would’ve smashed my head on the toilet.
After 5 minutes, I started coming to, and my boyfriend was really scared. Long story short, I didn’t go to work that day. My boyfriend thought I was having a seizure, and that’s when I knew my decision was for the best.
January 8th, 2026, I went into the clinic and had my abortion. I don’t remember much because I was sedated, but the mental pain that followed after was nothing like I’ve ever felt before. I’m still getting through it.
anonymous
“That’s when I knew my decision was for the best.”
age 24
Six
A message to any girl that needs it, my untold story. You are not alone.
I think of it like cutting the last thread he had stabbed into me. It hurt like hell to do, but it needed to be done. I had been broken up with him for a year. He was extremely toxic and still had so much control over my life, not that I realized this, of course.
The night it happened was the night I finally realised I would never let him hurt me again. I got away, I moved cities, and I started uni. I began to heal and had just started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then my period was late. I lived in denial for 13 whole days, convincing myself the stress of that night and the move had made my period late. But then the morning sickness came, and I could not ignore it. The test was positive straight away.
I have never cried like I did in that moment — not over a boy, a fight, or a friendship breakdown. This was the single worst moment of my life. But I knew my decision. I knew what the outcome would be. There was no earthly life for that baby; it was not made with love. I knew I could not heal and hold that baby in my arms at the same time. It would have ruined my life — the life that had only just started for me, the life I had to fight for.
The day before, I took my baby to the beach and sat there. I cried and felt all the things you can feel, and thought about the choices I had made that led me to this. And then I did it. I opted for a medical abortion. I did it alone. I did it with no support.
I remember the cold tiles in the bathroom against my skin as I curled up on the floor. I did not cry. I don’t think I had any thoughts, honestly. I was just there. The experience was horrifying — I will not lie about that. The pain was sharp and red hot, the type of pain that doesn’t even make you cry; it sends you straight out of your body.
When it was over, I missed my baby, which was something I did not expect as someone who was so sure of her choice. I would see babies and get that awful sinking feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I would go to the bathroom if I was out in public and cry. But this passed as the clarity of time slowly washed away the guilt I felt for everything — absolutely everything — all the decisions and mistakes that had led me to this.
And life for me went on. I picked up the pieces of myself again and put them back together. I did that by myself.
I feel no shame for my choices and refuse to tell anyone who could make me feel any. I do, however, feel great pain for the women who had no option or choice as I did. I hope one day things will change and all women will have access to the healthcare I did.
And I will leave this letter with one final message.
The only reason a woman needs to get an abortion is that she is pregnant and does not want to be.
anonymous
“I think of it like cutting the last thread he had stabbed into me.”
age undisclosed
Seven
My mess of a story
during my freshman year of college, and for a little while after, I was in the most toxic and unhealthy relationship of my life. I never thought I would end up in something like that. Growing up, I promised myself I would never allow myself to be in an abusive or toxic relationship like my biological parents were in. But life doesn’t always go the way we expect.
I met this guy on Tinder, and at the time it felt harmless. Looking back, it became one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Would I go back and change it if I could? Part of me says yes. But another part of me says no, because if I hadn’t gone through what I did, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today or met my amazing boyfriend, Lee.
A few months into the relationship, things started to change. He slowly convinced me to cut off and resent many of the people I once considered my best friends and family. At the time, I was so convinced that he loved me and was “helping” me that I didn’t see what was really happening. I won’t get into every detail, but that relationship made me hate myself, distance myself from the people who cared about me, struggle badly in college, and experience the worst mental health I’ve ever had.
I was a young girl who was hurting and felt very alone. I made choices during that time that I wish I could take back.
On August 31st, 2024, I was forced by him to have an abortion for a child that I wanted. It’s something that will always stay with me. I wish things had been different, but I can’t change what has already happened. What it did do, though, was open my eyes to just how unhealthy and damaging the relationship had become. One week later, I finally found the strength to break up with him and cut off all contact.
After everything happened, I felt completely alone. I started realizing how many people I had pushed away during that relationship and how much damage had been done to my life and my friendships. I felt overwhelmed by guilt, grief, and shame.
During that time, my mental health hit the lowest point it has ever been. I became suicidal and was placed into an outpatient therapy program. At the time I was angry and didn’t want to admit how unstable I had become. But looking back now, I’m incredibly grateful for it. That program helped me learn healthier ways to cope and begin the process of healing.
Around that same time, while I was balancing therapy and college, someone from college invited me to go to church. I was hesitant, but something in me felt like I should go. During the service, the pastor said something that stopped me in my tracks. He said, “God might be silent for a few months, but it’s because you weren’t listening in the first place. But God has never left your side.”
When I heard that, it felt like God was speaking directly to me. I started crying right there in the service, and people around me hugged and prayed for me. It was one of the first moments in a long time where I didn’t feel completely alone.
Since that day, I’ve started to see God working in my life in ways I can’t always explain.
Sometimes it’s through a Bible verse or quote that shows up on my social media exactly when I need it. Sometimes it’s through music — which, if you know me, you know music has always been my therapy.
For almost a year now, I’ve been working on healing, growing, and rebuilding my life. One of the hardest parts of that journey has been learning to forgive — both my ex and myself. But I’ve gotten to a place where I can say that I have.
Ever since everything happened, I made a promise to myself: when I’m healed, I will speak out. I will stand up not only for myself, but for others who may feel too afraid or alone to do it themselves.
I’m not sharing this for pity. I’m sharing it because this is my story. I’m sharing it to remind people that God is always there, even when it feels like He isn’t. And I want people to know that no matter how alone you might feel, you are never truly alone.
There are always people who care about you more than you realize.
If you read this far, thank you.
anonymous
“I was a young girl who was hurting and felt very alone.”
age undisclosed
I was 17, still in high school and in the middle of a breakup when I found out I was pregnant. I knew then and there I couldn't keep it. Between finances at home, already struggling to keep up with school and plans for my future, there was no way I could’ve added a baby into the mix.
I decided to tell the father so we could discuss options. I knew that even though it was my choice, I wanted him to be able to express his opinions too. Even though we were on rocky terms and technically not together, he stepped up to the plate and was the best support I could've asked for.
We went through all the stages: disbelief, denial, consideration, and then the ultimate heartbreak of booking the appointment. I had my appointment booked exactly one week after I found out I was pregnant. I was somewhere between 7–8 weeks when I went into the clinic.
He made sure I was set up and comfortable while going through the aftermath. He helped bring me to the bathroom, helped keep me clean, helped shower me — everything. I could barely look at myself. I couldn't “forgive” myself for what I had done, even though I've always advocated for the right to abortion for anyone, for any reason. I couldn't get out of my head about it.
Abortion was a hard choice, but the right one.
Fast forward to today, and he's now my fiancé. I wanted nothing more than to keep my baby, but I’d rather suffer in grief than subject a child to a life of struggle. We still cry and stay hung up on what could’ve been, but we are so glad we can now prepare even better for what could be.
anonymous
Eight
“I’d rather suffer in grief than subject a child to a life of struggle.”
age 17
Nine
I had my abortion about 1 year and 3 months ago, and I still think about it every day. I was forced by my ex-partner to get one. People say to me, “At the end of the day, you had a choice… you’re the one that walked into that room, not him.” But I was so in love with this person that losing him felt worse than going against my beliefs.
This person drained me and emotionally abused me, yet I still allowed him to have that much control over me, and it’s something I will regret for the rest of my life. It was extremely hard.
People assume that just because I or other people have had abortions means we don’t care, but honestly, I have always wanted to be a mother. That was my one and only dream.
When I woke up after the procedure, I was crying and screaming for my baby, repeating the word “sorry.” All the doctors had to say was, “I learned my lesson, haven’t I…” The day I lost my baby is the day I lost myself completely.
Afterwards, I started having many nightmares. The worst one I remember was of a crib in the corner of my room with a baby crying in it that I couldn’t reach. In the dream, I would run constantly towards it, but was never able to reach in and save my baby.
Most nights, I would just sit in front of the mirror staring at myself, picking apart every little thing about me… pointing and saying, “You were meant to be a mother,” until I ended up in a ball on the floor.
I really hate the concept of people believing that women who get abortions don’t care about their actions, when truly many did it selflessly or had no choice at all. My decision was stolen from me. It’s the kind of pain that goes beyond words — when something happens to you that you didn’t want, but you can’t undo. Yet I did do it, and I will always hate myself for it.
People tend to only talk about abortions as a choice, wanted or unwanted, but not the grey space in between.
anonymous
“My decision was stolen from me.”
age undisclosed
Ten
I was 19, six months into my relationship with my still current boyfriend. I was so supported but still had never felt more alone. I am a student midwife and was on placement, struggling with sickness and nausea, and one day I completely broke down.
I didn't tell any of my friends until I was 5 weeks and had to attend all appointments on my own. Whilst I do not regret it, not a day goes by where I don't think about what my life could have been. But the beauty of life is choice, and in my choice I can now continue to pursue everything I want out of life. I am still able to bring new life into this world and support women at their most vulnerable, now understanding the silent strength women carry in a whole new way because of my own experience.
My boyfriend was so supportive, but this experience taught me how strong I am. If I could give any advice, it is that time is a healer and the choice is always yours x.
anonymous
“I was so supported but still had never felt more alone.”
age 19
Eleven
I was 16, about to turn 17, going into my senior year of high school. My family was so proud I was graduating traditionally and planning for college, and I knew having a baby then wasn’t something I was ready for. My older sister had already dropped out and was pregnant, and I didn’t want that path for myself or my future children. I had very little growing up and always wanted more for them.
My sister helped me get to the doctor. I wasn’t completely sure about my decision then, and honestly I still think about it now. But I knew I didn’t want to raise a child in the situation I was in. I took the pills even though I had never swallowed a pill in my life before that day. The pain was intense. I remember rushing to the bathroom and the sac falling onto the floor. I saw it, and I had to pick it up and put it in the toilet. I still remember everything.
I still have my ultrasound pictures and the original pregnancy tests. The baby would have been 2 on April 5th.
anonymous
“I still remember everything.”
age 16
Twelve
I found out I was pregnant in December 2021 at 21. I’d been with my boyfriend for 3 years, but we were young, living at home, and not in a stable place. We weren’t trying. I’d just come off the pill, and I thought we were careful.
At first, I didn’t realise. I felt unwell around Christmas, and when my mum asked if I could be pregnant, I said no. But deep down, I think I already knew. I asked my sister to get a test, and on December 27th, the lines came up instantly. I froze. But underneath the shock, I felt a split second of excitement. All I’d ever wanted was to be a mum.
Telling my family was emotional. They supported me, but my boyfriend didn’t want the baby. That hurt more than I can say. I resented him deeply, feeling like I had to go against my own heart just to keep our relationship.
Because of COVID, I had to organise everything over the phone. I cried to the woman at the clinic as she asked, “Are you sure this is your decision?” I said yes, but inside I was screaming. I wanted her to hear it in my voice and tell me to stop. But she didn’t.
A few days later, a man in a white van delivered the pills to my house. I still think about that now — how something so heavy, so life-changing, just arrived like a package. No support, no guidance, just me and this decision I wasn’t ready to make.
Taking the pills was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. About half an hour later, the pain hit. I went to the toilet, thinking it might help, and when I relaxed, it felt like everything inside me collapsed out. I couldn’t look. I lay on the sofa for hours in agony — numb, angry, and ashamed.
I blamed my boyfriend. I blamed myself. I wanted him to say, “We’ll figure it out, whatever you choose,” but he didn’t.
For months after, I was in a dark place, crying every day. I would take pregnancy tests before every period, hoping and praying for a second chance, knowing no one could ever make me go through it again.
Now, 5 years later, I’m still with my boyfriend. We’ve grown together, and we’re even thinking about trying for a baby. I still carry it with me, and I do sometimes question my decision, but I don’t regret the life we’ve built since.
I’m proud of myself for surviving and building a life I love.
anonymous
“I said yes, but inside I was screaming.”
age 21
Thirteen
I was in a domestic violence situation. He assaulted me and stepped on my head while I was pregnant with our child.
You know when they say mothers get immense strength when their child is involved? Yeah — I managed to raise his foot off my neck and fight for my life. My cat watched the whole thing, and I feel like she was somehow a guardian angel in it all.
He’s in prison now, up for parole. I chose not to pursue the pregnancy because how can you? Seven charges of assault? I have two kids already, and they need me. It was either have the baby and live in fear of him, or protect what I can.
Adoption was not an option in this case. Truly a “you can’t win” situation.
I pray no one ever has to make that choice.
anonymous
“My kids needed me.”
age undisclosed
Fourteen
I was seeing this guy for a couple of months who I really liked, and I thought things were going well. One night, we were having sex and I saw him put the condom on. When we finished, I noticed it had been taken off at some point and that he had finished in me without my permission.
After this happened, I tried having a talk with him about how that was wrong and that he couldn’t do things like that, but he just didn’t understand why it was wrong and completely freaked out on me. I ended up ending things after that happened.
About two and a half weeks later, I realized my period was late, and that’s when I started to freak out. I took three pregnancy tests and all of them came out positive. I was in shock for a solid hour.
Later that day, I was hanging out with two of my close friends and told them, and they were super supportive. The next day, I told my mom and my sister, and they told me they would support whatever choice I made. My mum explained that she had gone through an abortion when she was my age and that she would be there every step of the way if that’s what I decided, but that she would also support me if I wanted to keep the baby.
I ended up telling a couple of my coworkers as well since they are like a second family to me, and I also needed to get some shifts covered since I was going to a women’s clinic to discuss options. I thought that if I decided to go down the abortion route, it would be good to have some days off to rest.
So although the father of the baby wasn’t in the picture, I had the love and support of my family, friends, and even coworkers, and it made this scary experience so much less scary.
I ultimately decided to go down the abortion route. I found out at the clinic during the ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy that it was a twin pregnancy, and that made me so emotional and really question what I was doing. But I still live with my parents, I’m not financially stable, and I’m going through a really tough time mentally. I knew it just wasn’t the right time to bring babies into this world.
I took the first pill two days ago, and I took the second pill yesterday. This was truly the most painful and emotional experience I’ve ever gone through. I kept questioning whether or not this was the right thing to do. I felt guilty, and I couldn’t help but cry.
Although the abortion is now done, my story isn’t over. I want to spread awareness to other women and let them know that it is okay to go through with this. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you’re not ready for this, you don’t need to feel guilty.
But I also want to explain that it’s okay to feel guilty too. It’s a part of so many people’s experiences. It’s also okay not to feel guilty. Some people know right off the bat that this is the right thing for them, that their time will come later, or maybe they just don’t want kids at all.
Either way, no one is alone through this.
anonymous
“I found out at the clinic that it was a twin pregnancy.”
age undisclosed